tonight i want to erase it all.

all the blog posts, chemical or emotional.
the pages upon pages of homage to love and its tortures, the journals,
take a big square eraser down my facebook page, everything i've ever
posted on your wall, the paintings hanging
in my father's house.
i'll scrape the stickers off the pickup,
wash my face, delete the voice mails that i save
just in case i need to hear your voice.

give me charcoal in big chunks
cracking in the grip of staining fingers.
powder, war-paint.  give me an old piano,
out-of-tune, and let me find where the dissonance hangs on the air
and fits.

it's time for another glass of water.
and you?

the world is falling apart.  i used to write war poetry,
peace poetry, passionate
and unkempt.  then i learned more
about the world.  i am trying
to laugh.  i would be there with you dancing. 
i would go explore the dark windy streets, but the door
might wake my father.
i am trying to laugh and holding
myself just barely apart like magnets,
looking for the mirage.

give me red clay.
don't trip over my body.  it's a trick.