a house to myself.

a way to reach you: a tag-team of frequencies.
(here are some verbs to map them:)


beat 
fire
twitch&press
click; zoom


(zoom=computer nerd words i will learn soon so that i can write
computer nerd poetry.)
had that idea last night and then someone posted this: News Poetry


fuckin yes.


my body is sore and my brain's in the meaningfully-oversensitive phase of sleep dep, and i have a space with no spiders to engage my vices, to free it like i know how, to eat it up while it's hot.
oh i starve in between sometimes and i know my next step is to do it organically--
sleep at night,
exercise, yoga,
rice and veggies and all that routine that will make it a constant--
i know i'll force myself, i have to, i am thirty now, you know,
this body needs its maintenance, repair,
the carrying out of allthosegoodthings i know how to do for it.


but until then and now i am grateful
for the tools of fools, for the spills that remind me, for the soft cloth
that sops up uncertainty, for the way your hands
softly touch my muscles.


oh and you taught me something last night
all of the sudden i realized
where to start.


since i was introduced so roughly
to the meeting of two hands (without- first-
the meeting of two hands) i have 
mourned for the gentle
didn't-have
but now 
i think maybe i'm only just ready;  because suddenly (slowly)
you touch me to feel, not to Do-- from here to now, not to 
get somewhere.
i can feel the science 
transmitting heat, electricity, 
information so out of the league of words that i laugh
and look at you to share, and of course want to say, and can't say,
and oh no i don't want to say.


i don't want to have to SAY.  i say what do you feel and you say what do you mean 
and i mumble and trail off and lean my forehead back
against your forehead.


(the word forehead is very unpoetic.  i'm sure there are much better ones in other languages.)

words to look up in other languages:

communication

forehead

dark (the shade)

and a girl i knew for minutes on a grey day by the waterside, smoking and searching for coral, holding our shoes and stepping on wet dark rocks, told me her favorite book and i read it in kansas and learned
this word:  hongi
     
:'A hongi is a traditional Māori greeting in New Zealand. It is done by pressing one's nose and forehead (at the same time) to another person at an encounter.

In the hongi, the ha (or breath of life), is exchanged and intermingled.'